Charlotte, Pt 2

So the next day we got on the plane, wide eyed and with that feeling you get like the day of your wedding when you haven't slept but you aren't tired because you are so wired. As we pulled away from the house at 6 am I told J, hey, this is the last time we may leave this house as just us two.

On the plane we swung between elation and fear - elation that this may happen, and it hadn't been called off yet, and fear that we would land to a message saying it was off. We slept on the plane a bit, mouths wide open. Once we woke up we pulled out "50,000 baby names" and started brainstorming around middle names, as we had already decided on Charlotte.

As we landed we scrambled to turn on our blackberries and cell phones, but there was no message. After almost 2 hours in the car rental place due to a bait and switch of our Jeep Cherokee for some weird car we had never seen, we were on our way. J now says we should've gotten a minivan but I told him to shut his mouth :).

We arrived at the hospital and basically ran to the front door, where our social worker was waiting for us. She took us upstairs and set us up in our own room, across the hall and a bit down from the birthmom, whose door was shut. A nurse came in and introduced herself, and like all the nurses, was incredibly sweet. She called us Mom and Dad for the first time.

Soon we heard the sound of wheels coming down the hallway and within a few minutes our daughter was wheeled in.

Now, that was one of the most powerful moments in our lives. I mean basically we were laying eyes on our future child and I am not sure about J, but I was thinking "dear god let her be healthy and i hope we think she's cute". Yes, lame, but it felt like an arranged marriage or blind date where you hope you like the guy. :) Once we saw her my eyes filled with tears and I was so, so happy because she was gorgeous and wonderful and peaceful.

Now I won't say I loved her immediately. I think that took a few hours. I will say that once we picked her up, awkwardly, because we were sure we would snap her little neck, she snuggled in and we were sold. As the day wore on and we spent the entire day in our room with her, we learned to change her, feed her, and we took turns holding her while she slept. We know now that was a bad idea because she grew used to it, but whatever. We had waited a year and a half for her and were in no position to let her sleep alone. The entire time, though, we were cautious as until the relinquishment papers were signed she was not ours.

We asked Lindsay, our social worker, if the BM wanted to see her. She went to ask, and it turned out S wanted to see us all, because she thought seeing us so happy with the baby would make her feel better.

S is beautiful. She has long, thick dark hair and gorgeous eyes and a strong nose and wide mouth and is truly lovely. She was so nice, and while she did seem sad she also seemed happy to have made us so happy. We talked for awhile and then took a few pictures for C's lifebook. We also hugged her.

That first night J and I went to babiesrus to get all the baby stuff we needed, like car seat and pack and play and blankets, etc. We felt scared because we didn't want to have to be there the next night, returning everything.

We went back to the hospital to feed her and say goodnight and ended up going to bed very late again. Our last night of sleep!

The next day was the big day. We spent the day with C, and then left at 5 to eat dinner and run some more errands. At around 1 pm, Lindsay came in to let us know S was leaving the hospital and that she wanted to see C one more time. That was the scariest 10 minutes of my life but all ended well and C came back into the room with Lindsay safe and sound. We ended up helping S leave, carried some of her bags, and helped her into the car. I got teary as she left. How do you thank someone who gave you your daughter?

The social worker,Laurie, met us at the hospital at 10:30 or so, bringing her husband as her witness. We actually had a great time with them - and would be friends witht them! He and J really got along as they are both irreverent as hell. They were great and were very, very supportive. We felt like they were family as soon as we started talking.

At 10:50 our phone rang, it was Lindsay on her way to S's house, caught in traffic, giving us a heads up that the signing of the relinquishment papers would be late. Damnit. Dallas traffic sucks.

At 11:40 I started to get nervous. What the hell was taking so long? I knew S and her husband M had to read everything, but come on.

At 11:57 the phone rang again.

She was ours!

Ok she is crying now. Write more later. Thank you all so much for your beautiful emails welcoming Charlotte in our lives, and yours. We are so happy.