Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Gotcha Day!

This is an informational blog posting for those of you with working uterii.

A little known or understood fact about adoption is that when the birthparents sign the relinquishment of parental rights, C doesn't become our kid at that point. In fact, the birthparents release her into the custody of the adoption agency. This meant that the night in the hospital we left with her, the social worker from the adoption agency had to carry her out and then gave her to us in the parking lot. It was midnight so the whole thing felt really weird.

The adoption agency then "releases" her into our custody (in the parking lot), and we continue the process. This means, in our case, 6 more home visits by the social worker. We have her from a custody perspective but her birth certificate still says her bm's last name and we cannot travel outside of the country with her, get her a passport, social security number, or anything else that biological children get from birth.

After all the social work visits, designed to ensure she doesn't have rickets or big unexplained bruises, we have to go in front of a judge. In Texas, this happens 6 months after the adoption date.

J flew out last night and just called to say it was all done. He went before the judge, who asks a bunch of questions like "Do you testify that Charlotte is not your biological child" and "Do you testify that she is 7 months old" and stuff like that. I am sure he promises to love, honor and obey as well.

She is ours. Forever.

At the start he felt it wasn't a big deal as she felt like ours from the start. After 300 poopy diapers and night feedings and drool and smiles and laughing, she is ours and has been since day 1. However now she is ours in the eyes of the law and no one can ever take her away from us. I think even J, Mr. Stoic, was moved as he said he really wished I was there and that it was really, really special and amazing.

Thank you all for your support and love over this journey. 18 months from the first IVF to her seems like a long time but really, it happened fast. I only hope our next adoption goes as smoothly.

Baby C is a Guberman!!!!!!!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mazel tov! We love baby C and are so excited she's a Guberbaby forever!

10:46 AM  
Blogger triton said...

Now this means that Baby C will have two special days each year: her actual birthday and her Gotcha Day, June 4! How wonderful is that!!

Love from Grandma and Grandpa Triton

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Julie said...

Legal 'gotcha'days are as emotional as 'we actually picked you up 'gotcha days' . A true joy, reason to celebrate, not to mention sleeping a little bit better. Ok, sleeping a bit better with a 7 month old may be something of a contradition. So, how does 'an ounce of relief on the soul' sound? Congratulations. Julie

2:28 PM  
Blogger Malia said...

Hi R...LONG TIME NO POST! Just thought I would see how things are going & if you had time for an update...we TRULY love hearing about little C....God Bless & hope you are having a wonderful summer with your little daughter..
booklover (aka Malia)

7:28 AM  

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