Wednesday, February 14, 2007

I couldn't summon up the energy to post a title today.

I went to work today, but haven't done much. One thing I have noticed is that I am much more likely to talk to my co-workers about this than my friends. A few friends have asked us to do things and I just can't - there is something about it that makes me so upset. I hope this passes as I love my friends and don't want to cut them off, but the idea of having to be face to face with people right now just sounds awful.

I met my new therapist, and love her. She said "fuck" like four times and that makes her a good therapist in my book. :) She was insightful and kind and also gave me some great ideas, which was wonderful. She did say that she didn't think J and I should undergo a parallel process with adoption as we do not seem ready - because we want to try at least once more for an IVF baby she thinks we should see that through.

I am concerned because I see no way I can be calm or relaxed for the next process. The pressure just seems too much and I will be an absolute wreck.

In addition I have had the world's worst migraine for two days. It is like I am being punished.

MUST STAY OFF INTERNET. Spent all day on Soulcysters.com reading "Pregnancy after a loss" and these ladies make it sound like it is 100% impossible to have live birth with PCOS. I am so much more devastated for reading it. Must stop.

Leaving soon - am exhausted and believe or not thought I would try returning to that foreign place called the gym. J is making me Valentines' dinner tonight with alcohol, soft cheese, and everything else I was not allowed to eat. He is truly wonderful.


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