Honey....awww sugar sugar

First, it is 1030 and I am still awake. I am thrilled. Big girl. I think it is because I worked from home today so slept 11 hours last night and took a one hour nap.

I want to talk about food.

Those who know me, and you all do, know that food is a huge thing for me. I can out-eat almost anyone, except my Dad. Since getting diagnosed with PCOS and Insulin Resistance (IR) I am on a low sugar diet. The Metformin I take to treat it rendered me sick all the time, so I lost like 12 pounds and ate hardly anything. Since I got used to it, I can eat more food, but I wouldn't say I eat like I did normally, as I can't really eat anything with too much sugar. I got by on sugar free treats on the rare occasion when I needed something sweet.

Since getting pregnant, or at least for the last few weeks, I am an eating machine. I can't describe the hunger I get - before when it was right before lunch I was hungry, but not like this. Now I could swallow entire cities AND their suburbs. It is nothing for me to eat breakfast (yogurt and fruit) and a second breakfast (corn flakes), then a lunch (sushi or salad or sandwich) and another lunch (pretzels or fruit) then dinner, then a snack. And between these my stomach growls and I imagine all the food I can't eat.

The challenge is, I can't really eat anything that has too much sugar. Now, just so you know. sugar is in all kinds of stuff, not just sweets. I have to limit my intake of fruit. Bananas, especially. I have to avoid most cereals unless they are all bran. I can't have ice cream or cake or donuts, at all, really. Never mind the caffiene, I can't have Diet Coke or Diet Root Beer as it has aspertame. No sugarfree gum. No hot chocolate on a cold winter's night or a decaf mocha at Starbucks. AHHHHH Decaf mocha.

This is usually not a problem, but lately I have been craving sweets. Tonight at Sirens one of my friends was eating a Hostess Cupcake and all of a sudden I wanted 320239584598 of them. I wanted to buy a Hostess plant and run the production line for cupcakes right into my mouth.

I would've gladly killed her to eat her cupcake. Even thinking about it makes me want to eat it. Then, later, when I treated myself to a decaf coffee with cream (that is my one vice now, it makes coffee taste so much better than skim!) and a Splenda, which is the only sugar substitue really safe right now, my eye caught a chocolate covered cannoli. I am a sucker for cannoli. The hard shell, the soft inside that tastes like a combo of cake mix and frosting. The little chocolate chips that add some texture.

I stood there, mezmerized, thinking what could happen if I buy this and stick the whole thing in my mouth? So my insulin gets out of control, right? So that causes my hormones to go crazy, right? So then baby Stewie gets a dose of some shit he doesn't need? Worst case he is harmed? Ok. Put. the. cannoli. back.

And I did. But I mourn it.

So everyone who can, eat a Hostess Cupcake for me. Or a cholocate covered cannoli. And send me an email about what it was like.