Saturday, February 10, 2007

Warning - Crazy Lady ahead

A serious warning - do not read this post unless you love me unconditionally. I am admitting some things here that are not pretty, but I promised to write about the good bad and ugly. I was bad and ugly today.

The last few days the cravings have really sunk in. And when I say cravings, I mean when I want something I want ONLY it and I want it NOW. The hostess cupcake was an example. It becomes an obsession people only write about.

Today J and I have some furniture coming so we ran out to do some errands quickly. This is after I slept 12 hours and then took a one hour nap. I still feel tired, headachy and generally like crap.

So we go. I wanted a latte and he a bagel, so I went to Dunkin Donuts. After standing in an unmoving line for 15 minutes, I got furious and called J at the bank and said loudly, and I quote, "Fuck this shit. This goddamn line isn't moving. Forget it". He said, sheepishly, "ok"

We go to the dry cleaners. I see McDonalds and continue my cravings for the nastiest crap on earth and decide I want a Filet O Fish, fully loaded, with hot mustard. I love it. I go in, J joins me. We order. There is a bit of confision as the woman behind the counter says no hot mustard. I am already pissed about the no latte thing, so I say honey mustard is fine. I guess she says some other stuff but I just nod. Get me my goddamn food lady.

It comes. WIth honey mustard on it. And no tartar sauce.

I freak.

I ask for just a "plain old, regular Filet O Fish with no honey mustard" - what i really wanted was the tartar sauce and cheese, Yum.

She gives me another one. We are now really late for the movers.

We go out to the car. I pull it out, ready to dig in. You guessed it - she gave me a plain Filet O Fish with NOTHING ON IT. No cheese, no tartar. Not really her fault - I did say plain old.

Next, friends, I pitch the worlds biggest fit. I am talking 2-year-olds could learn a thing or two from this tantrum. I mean HOW HARD IS IT TO GET THE MOST BASIC THINGS TODAY?? I cry. And I cry. Sobbing, actually. Like someone had run over my dog.

Meanwhile, J goes back in, really unbeknownst to me because I am still mid-cry, to ask for a FULLY LOADED Filet O Fish. I think he lied and said it was for him because at this point I have gone from wife to embarrassment.

During this time his mother calls on his phone, which is in the front seat. I answer it, because I am obviously stupid. She immediately hears me crying hysterically and starts the third degree. I tell her I cant talk and hang up.

Gee, Mom in Law, I am crying hysterically because my Filet O Fish was wrong twice.

I got the right one.

We came home, errands forgotten. I am still crying, but now because I have made J upset and am basically the worst person in the world.

It is like some alien took over my body and is making me eat, say and do the dumbest things. I have no control over my appetite, my sleep habits, or my emotions. I think I should go under some self-imposed exile for the next 5 weeks till this first trimester is over. I would hate me right now.

The only silver lining is that I am hoping with all this ridiculousness we will hear Stewie's heartbeat on monday - something's got to be going on, right? I am of course totally nervous about that and I am sure that doesn't help.

I apologize for my behavior today. Please dont judge or hold it against me. I am going to try harder.


Blogger Y said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

5:10 PM  
Blogger Alyssa said...

I'm so glad you wrote all of this down, because hopefully in a few days (or weeks, or months) you will look back and laugh sympathetically at this entry as hard as I just laughed. J is a good man and you are certainly exhibiting the "signs" you waited for of "wanting to feel pregnant". :)

7:24 PM  
Anonymous Jess G said...

Great Blog, R! Loved reading about your process so far.....I can so identify with all that you have written and how you are feeling and you are right on target. And BTW our mom-in-law, throughout your pregnancy will always call at those times! Seemed to always happen with me too. I love you and will always support you unconditionally!

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You ate the nutbar, Cybil. But I love all of you.

Also - I want to apologize to the poor mamasita at McDonalds. You did your best.

12:11 AM  
Anonymous Mrs. Jones said...

This is SUCH good fuel to embarrass you and little Stewie someday. Thank you.

Be proud to be the pregnant lady that ate New York. AND New Jersey.

(BTW--I remember actually saying to an employee at McD's that I was pregnant and if she didn't give me a LARGE FRY RIGHT NOW there would be a scene.)

Love to all of you.

1:29 AM  
Blogger Rob said...

Wow, I just had a major flashback to 2000, trying to decipher Suzanne's cravings during her pregnancy. Your story sounds familiar. You may think you sound weird, but you actually sound quite normal, and we still love you. Take a walk around Goodale Park to make yourself feel better. Wait, WHERE? WHAT??

10:22 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home