Friday, February 02, 2007

Feeling calm and relaxed. Want to take a picture?

Today was fine. Just fine.

I felt fine, except the exessive peeing and gastrointestinal issues. And even those feel like a nice reminder that I am pregnant.

J is at his sister's, having dinner and seeing our niece's talent show. It's quiet here.

I have to do laundry and eat and somehow get this done before my witching hour of about 9:30 when I fall asleep.

Basically, I am thankful for today. I have not had a relatively uneventful day in so long I forgot what it was like.

Let it stay this way, at least until Feb 12th when we hear the heartbeat. Then, after our triumphant Big Doctor's Appointment, where the heartbeat is so strong it literally knocks Dr S on his ass, let it go back to this status quo feeling. I have had too much drama this year.

The Chinese have a curse: May You Live In Interesting Times. And that is how I have felt - like I was living in interesting times. Yes, lots of good things happened - I got married, got promoted, continued to build great friendships and a life out here, moved to JC from SO when I wanted to put my head in the oven, getting pregnant, etc. But lots of bad happened, including the work layoffs last year where I lost half my staff, the PCOS and infertility diagnosis and subsequent drama-filled treatment, Dad's cancer, Mom's eye issues, Bea moving across the country (well that wasn't really bad but it is REALLY not conducive to weekend jaunts to see her anymore), friends struggling with infertility, hyperstimulation after IVF, etc. Basically, there was always plenty to worry about.

And now, I know that I do have something REALLY big to worry about, but today I feel like you know, I can't do ANYTHING about it. All I can do is breathe deeply and send good thoughts to the baby and keep with the progesterone shots in the morning and suppositories in the night and 1500 mg of Metformin daily and low sugar diet and hope that our good luck holds a bit longer. Maybe it is drama fatigue, but it feels sort of nice and lulling to let go, even if it is for only 24 hours. I have never been good at that, but perhaps it is a good time to learn. I hear parents have to do this a lot.

I think I may actually sleep well tonight.

Hope you all do too.


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