Bad news

Hi all

Unfortunately we got some very bad news at the doctor's today - the baby doesn't have a heartbeat so we have miscarried. Even writing that feels so unreal - even negative ol me is really thrown - I truly expected to see one. This was truly my worst case scenario, and for someone who has many worst case scenarios it really rocks your world when one comes true.

We are not deciding on next steps yet - right now I cant imagine going through this again but I hope that will pass and my desire to have a child will outweigh my fear and the pain.

We are both devastated but are allowing ourselves time to grieve. J of course is his regular wonderful self and is taking care of me through his grief.

There are layoffs at work this week so the real icing would be if I was impacted,but I can't even think of that right now.

For my pregnant friends I promise I will be able to rejoice with you in a few weeks, just not yet.

I just wanted to thank you all for your love and support - connecting with you via this blog has been such a highlight.

Take care everyone.