Tomorrow, tomorrow

So. It is here. The beta. Tomorrow at at 1 or 2 pm I will know. I have to say, as of today, I am ok. I am so glad to stop this waiting game that regardless of the answer, I will feel a bit better knowing I can either drink with impunity or NOT drink for a reason. That i can stop wondering about whether to use Equal or Splenda. And if it is no, that I can stop causing mortal damage to my nerve endings by shooting through them with my PIO. Today I think J may have hit my bone in my leg, which weirdly enough, didn't really hurt.

Anyway, I feel like poop. My stomach and abdomen wakes me up every night with soreness, cramping and a feeling like I just did about 100 situps. It is high on my belly all the way down to my abdomen. So weird. It is either 4 babies singing "I Want It That Way" or leftover goodies from my hyper stim, but tomorrow, if the beta is negative, I will be asking for drugs. Catagory X drugs. Cause i can. Also, the last few nights i get up at least twice, if not three times, to pee. I KNOW that is just nerves as there is no way I have some damn baby (babies?) pressing on my bladder yet. Please.

For some reason I am not at all tempted to test. I like living in this "well, sure I could be pregnant" land and want Dr S to be the one to tell me I am not. If i am not. Which I hope i am.

I will be posting the results but only after I can talk to my family. So it may be Saturday. Thank you all so much for your support and kind postings, your words and knowing you are reading and interested have helped me more than you know.

Love you all!