And...scene. For awhile.

So this is it, I am going silent for awhile. If we get good news, I am not sharing it for months. Maybe til the baby is born, or at least when s/he gets married. You are all invited.

If we get bad news, I want to process it before any pity emails start coming in. I know I am playing hide and seek as I have been really open about all this so far but with the beta soon I just need to go back to me and J and not let in the outside world.

I say pity emails because unfortunately I have realized that I am not gracious. I have 2 people in my life (who don't read this blog) who tend to call me and say "How AAAAAARRRREEE you" which makes me want to kill them. I feel like the unspoken is "How AAAAAARRRRREEE you, you infertile sad pathetic freak, baronness of the barren!". There is nothing nice or caring about this, it is nothing but straight up pity and I hate pity. It feels patronizing and mean. Don't pity me - I have a great life, a great family, a great job (jobs?), great friends, a nice home, money to eat out every once in while, and most of all a fantastic husband. We have the means to get the means to adopt if need be, so we know we will become parents one day.

Does anyone blame me that I hate it when these two people call with that simpering "oh dear, you must just be DESPONDENT, I know I would be if I were as infertile as you obviously are"? Or am I truly evil? And if so, does our child become spawn of evil? Perhaps it is a genetic trait and so our adopted child will be goodness and light. Though goodness and light doesn't tend to last long in our household...:we tend to tease it and make it cry and run screaming out the door, while we laugh uproariously like crazy people :)

Anyway stay tuned for future updates. Once things are solidified I will post, which could be up to three months. Or tomorrow. I like to keep you guessing.