Water balloons

That is the metaphor I think perfectly describes my feeling right now in my ovaries. It is like they are big water balloons ready to burst open. Ew.

Had another great RE appointment. 15 follies - the biggest was 18 mm!! Soo good! I think that is the one that will become my future daughter or son.

He said I will probably overstim a bit before trigger- more bloating, some aching and maybe some nauseau (did I spell that right?), but that everything looks great. He said two more days of stim (he greatly reduced my dose again) and then TRIGGER ON TUESDAY! That means retreival on Thursday morning.

J and I will learn how to give me the big assed trigger shot in my big ass Tuesday morning. Then we start the progesterone shots. I am really freaked about those, even nice Nurse C said "yeah, they hurt a shitload". Nice. Very warm and supportive. I do appreciate her honesty.

Looks like we will transfer either Sunday or Tuesday of next week. For all you religious folks out there, pray. For you non-religious folks, think good thoughts.

Dr S was again in rare form. He said no more conjugal visits with J (sorry Dad you hate it when I write about that I am sure) until after transfer. I mentioned that I was not into that anyway as I can't imagine anything pressing down on my stomach right now (they jump on your belly and bust your balloons! - name that movie). I mentioned that the cat was sitting on my stomach this morning and I almost died. J is SOOO supportive though I am sure that was not great news to him. So funny how conception with infertility is so scientific. Nothing romantic about it.

Actually, tho, I find it very beautiful that the 20-some women in the waiting room this morning all have a chance to have child, when 100 years ago we would've been childless. That is beautiful to me. Question for the day - why don't any of us women talk in the waiting room?

Got another great, supportive email from my best friend from Grad School. He and his wife live with their son in Indiana and I really miss them - he really knows how to crack my ass up when I need it most. Anyway, his email was pitch perfect and so supportive; he mentioned that the worst thing is when people don't mention the elephant in the room - they have an autistic son and have experienced the awkward conversation when the other person just doesn't mention it, I am sure. He has a blog too which I will connect to this one.

I don't mind when people ask about our treatment - it makes me feel like they are accepting us for who we are instead of making me feel ashamed for having this issue. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Women have nothing to be ashamed of. Lately I have thought about infertility insurance - why the hell don't more companies provide coverage? Once I get these eggs outta me and I can stand up straight I may see how I can get involved in some lobbying work on behalf of RESOLVE.

Speaking of which, Julia Roberts is pregnant again. Let's see if she has these miracle, run-in-my-family twins again. Insert snide snort here.

I am in bed, resting my ovaries. We have some errands to do today and then New Years at a friend's party, then dinner at one of my fav NYC restaurants with two good friends. This will be a great year, folks. I can feel it. Along with 15 eggs.