Thursday, March 22, 2007

Now I'm done

I ran into someone at work today whom I think is the last person I will ever have to tell about the miscarriage.

It is a guy with whom I have worked closely, who is in one of my client groups, and who is high maintenance as hell so we have talked a lot. He also lives in the Small Suburban Town I used to reside in, before I threatened to kill myself and forced J move back to civilization, so we know some of the same people.

I know that he has triplet boys. I also know that no one ever really has triplets without IVF. So when I found out my beta was so high, in a moment of weakness told him that I may want to talk to his wife if we were having multiples (remember - Dr S said that was a possibility at one point). He was thrilled and hugged me and told me all about their cycle with the trips (she got OHSS, etc so there was a lot in common). He made me promise to follow up with him as soon as we knew.

Well, then, we found it was only one. And then we found out it was, actually, none. And I never called because I forgot and this man is quite senior and I didn't see leaving a voice mail for him saying "Hey, Mr SVP - just wanted you to know the baby died! See you in the cafeteria!"

So today I was walking into the elevator bank and there he was. Huge hug and questions all around. He said his wife is in today getting her transfer(so he is an asshole husband who isn't home helping her, I take it!) for a 4th. They only put in one so no real danger for multipes. He says "So....is it twins?" and I said, really uncomfortably, "Uh, actually it was one and we lost it". Cue silence. He then says very sincerly and quietly, " I am so, so sorry". I had to run then because I was starting to well up and didn't want this man seeing it.

At least that is the last time this cycle I will have to say that. I would love to say that is the last time I will ever have to say it, but I am not able to.


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