Saturday morning, snow has fallen

Its quiet here - I just woke up and J is still sleeping. Outside is blanketed with snow, which is totally annoying because it was 70 on Wednesday.

J came home last night which was fantastic but I immediately picked a fight. Why am I doing that lately? Must stop.

So my interview went very well - which surprised me. Basically the job is the senior HR person for the NY office (the big, main office with the entire executive committee as clients)- with the idea that in awhile (?) it would grow to be the head HR person in the company (like 40 offices all over the globe!). The job is not clearly defined as the COO is still figuring out what exactly the person would do - which is definitely based on who he hires. For example if I get it, I would probably take on all the talent management AND the HR - but if he hires someone without talent management experience he would just have the person do HR. The ambiguity doesn't bother me, I am happy to carve out a role and take on what I can. I have always done that.

We spent 2 hours together, me hearing about him, the company and the job. Then he and I talked about my passions, what I like to do (both at work and outside, which I liked, as the balance is very important to me) and what I want in my next job. He said he thought i was a "great fit" for the company and we even discussed compensation, to which he said "I know I am not supposed to do this". He didn't bat an eye when I told him what I wanted which means I left money on the table. Damn. Anyway talking about money is a good sign.

He also brought out some strategic slide decks to show me what they were thinking for some new programs, and we discussed them.

Then he said "I want you to meet two more people" that I believe will also weigh in on the discussion. As far as I know I am the only candidate so far who has been asked back, which is good considering he met like 10 people! He also invited me to an event on Thursday with the company and a guest speaker - I am going to go. Good chance to meet people and show him I am serious. I think they liked me?

So now J and I are talking - do I really want to leave my current role? Am I ready? How does this new job help or hurt our fertility stuff? Will I be able to have kids and see them with such a big job?In some ways the idea of leaving my current role makes me want to cry - I love the company and love the people and have been there 5 years so I know EVERYONE. In other ways I know I am so bored and ready for a change and my role has completely diminished thanks to bad strategy and a total lack of appreciation for HR. And the rumors are that the company is going through even more change and my role would be diminished even more.

J even postulated that maybe the reason the fertility stuff was so top of mind in the last few months was because my job bored the crap out of me so I had nothing else to think about - which I believe is true.

Its funny, when the miscarriage happened i never thought I would be happy again, or that I would think of anything else. Then this comes along - just goes to show that life keeps moving, on, doesnt' it? I think that's wonderful and while I usually don't believe in fate - this whole thing makes me wonder if it was all supposed to happen this way. It is just so right.

So onto the next steps at the interview, keep on keeping on at current job, see the therapist and acupuncturist and support group and doing yoga, and continue my zen-like approach to this next cycle. That should be enough to keep me busy.