PGD, PCOS and Dr Google - see update at end on crappy Rebecca Walker!!!!!!!

So i mentioned that if we cycle again we will potentially do PGD, or pre-implantation genetic diagnosis. I did a bad thing and did some websearching on it. Not good.

Basically the site I checked out is called www.mypgd.blogspot.com and it is a database of folks who have done it - their age, number of eggs retreived, number that were "chromosomally and genetically normal/abnormal" and what the outcome was. Holy shit. TONS of these people never even get to transfer because ALL of their eggs are abnormal. What a bummer. But a total possibility for us.

Yes, one could say that if folks are doing this there is a reason - and in fact most of them are carriers for one or another of the most godawful genetic issues. I saw almost no one on there for PCOS which may be bad or good. Maybe PCOS folks don't need it usually? Tho Dr S thought it was a good idea. But these women had like 15-30 eggs and NONE were viable. Jesus.

What it made me wonder is - how the fuck does anyone get and stay pregnant? How do we as a race continue to survive? This reproducing crap is really tricky and there are so many things that can go wrong. It is just amazing to me.

As you all know I have many, many, many pregnant friends right now. I also have many friends pregnant through IVF. I realized that I don't have ANY friends with PCOS. That i know of. And that our little fertility issues are really specific to us, and everyone else's is specific to them. I have two friends with unexplained IF, two who are lesbians and for whom this is the only way to get PG, and others with various and sundry other issues. No one who has PCOS and thus no one I can really commiserate with. I have www.soulcysters.com and that helps, but again - everyone who posts usually has some big reason they are on there. Am I getting the worst case? Are the folks on there skewed one way or another? Cause if you check it out you should have a big glass of vodka in one hand and some Prozac in the other.

Dr S and J basically cut my hands off to get me away from the net, but couldn't you argue that arming yourself with knowledge is a good thing? Is surfing the web bad?

If it's wrong, I don't want to be right. Because in this crazy time a little info, even if it is totally skewed, feels like taking control.

In other news J and I are going away this weekend to Lake George. We are going with some friends of ours whom we met when they bought our house, which sounds like a recipe for distaster, but in fact has been fantastic. I am looking forward to a few days of fun and cooking and sleeping and kayaking.

UPDATE:
A fellow friend told me my post on Rebecca "the bitch" Walker's blog made it to the Washington Post. I am the one who commented about the insenstivity of her writing. I really dialed it back from "I hate your guts".
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/29/AR2007032902320.html

Also - Erica Jung better watch her ass. I might be figuratively gunning for her next. She writes "But not everyone feels that way. A lot of people feel very intensely about their adopted children. Whatever your feelings are, you should be able to write about them, even though they're taboo feelings."

A LOT OF PEOPLE FEEL VERY INTENSELY ABOUT THEIR ADOPTED CHILDREN?

I DARE anyone out there in blogland to find me someone who DOESNT feel intensely about their adopted children.

I ask, again: what in the hell is wrong with everyone?? I thought adopting was a mitzvah.

I think if we end up adopting I may have to take anger management classes.